Davis Helm, a 28 year old submissive male, was stunned to receive his DNA test results from a major genetics processing lab.
Among the findings, Helm was classified as 0.00001% “Nematode,” the scientific name for common roundworms.
Scientist and genetics researcher Dr. Martha Nausbaum, told The Daily Flogger, that such results are highly unusual, but not impossible and that “if anyone was going to come back as related to a worm, it would be someone like Davis. He’s pathetic.”
Mistress Karina Von Kross, a professional Dominatrix for 20 years, agreed with the assessment. “In fact, I am surprised the number isn’t higher,” she said of Helm, one of her long term clients. “He is worthless, weak, and a total loser. Finding he is actually part worm seems very fitting.”
Helm, for his part, was relieved by the finding. “It was a real hit to my self-esteem when Mistress would tell me I was nothing but a worm. Now I know the truth. I am part worm. But at the same time, I am also more than 99% German Irish, so I feel pretty good about that.”