After three solid days of debate, the organizers of an annual dungeon party were unable to find a theme that wasn’t offensive to someone.
The group believed they had found a solution when they came up with a “themeless” alternative, only to find that a local group of “traditionalists” had threatened to boycott the event based on the premise that “the party has always had a theme, therefore it always should have a theme,” according to Master Hell, a club member who has only been active for the past year, but who “strongly believes in tradition.”
According to Master Hell, who has done a lot of reading on the subject, “theme parties are very Old Guard. And since I am Old Guard, I want it to be a theme party.”
Every other theme included some degree of cultural appropriation, which the party organizer, Shelly McQueen, found “disturbing and upsetting.”
“The process is very important and we have to be very careful. If even one member is offended, we can’t risk alienating them.”
According to insiders, themes like “Let’s Get Crazy” were objected to as ableist, while the traditional “Black and Blue Ball” was decried as both racist and insensitive to those who suffer from depression.
“Ultimately,” McQueen said, “we just decided to cancel the party. We think it is better that way. At least now, no one will be offended.”