Local Leather Competition Announces New Voting Restrictions


New Haven, Missouri

After what Leatherman Dave Humphries is calling “The Big Steal,” he has embarked on a crusade to “reform voting at all major events for titleholders as well as executive positions in any leather organization.”

Humphries, who has competed in more than a dozen title contests, has never won and attributes his losing record to the fact that “all the wrong people voted.”

Humphries has gotten the attention of a local contest, who has agreed to implement his policies, which include presenting a state ID, passing a 10 question test on the history of leather, and paying a small fee to register to vote.  The restrictions can be waived if you “know Dave” or are a “dungeon regular.”

The community reaction was swift and immediate with many members threatening to boycott this year’s contest.

“I don’t want to have to do any of that shit,” said Master Keith, himself a title holder and longtime dungeon regular.

When Master Keith was assured the rules didn’t apply to him he said he was “cool with it then.”

Sally Ann Jenkins, a 21 year old submissive, said that she would do “whatever she was told to do.”  “I really like rules and obeying them, so for me, the more rules there are the happier I will be.”  Jenkins also asked “if we break the rules, do we get punished?  If so, how and by whom?  I guess I really want to know more details before I commit.”

Still others said it was just a transparent effort to get Humphries a title.  “Dave is kind of a douche,” Leatherman Even Meeks, 45, said.  “That’s why he doesn’t have a title.  He is a dumb loudmouth who can’t win except by changing the rules.”

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