The Seattle Seahawks and New England Patriots played an even-paced game in Phoenix Sunday in what was undoubtedly one of the most evenly balanced Super Bowl in years. But the true battle on the field was between the She-hawks and the Patri-ettes, the teams’ cheerleaders.
By the second quarter it was clear the Patri-ettes exhibited greater on-field ACR (Ass Cheek Reveal) than the She-hawks. NFL posted 38 individual ACR incidents prior to halftime. Certainly the She-hawks made a bold move just 38 seconds before the end of the second quarter when Carli Simms of Tacoma, Washington executed a daring VPL (Visible Pussy Lips) to a cheering throng of 105,000, nearly evening the score.
New England Patriots football tried to get in on the action with an accidental SR (Scrotum Reveal) just after Katy Perry cracked a flat note in the half time, but it wasn’t enough to compete with the ass cheek onslaught the Patri-ettes delivered.
Patriots Cheerleader Uniform Coordinator Shawn Muse had this to say: “We have been working with Under Armor and Oakley to reengineer our team cheerleader shorts for the last three years and we think they’ve innovated a slide lift reveal that performs on average 6.22% better than in previous games. We’re pleased with the increase in ACR and feel our victory was well-earned.”