Magic Integrity Hat



DomCo Products has announced its latest product, the “Magic Integrity Cap,” which, according to the Seattle based retailer is “capable of creating integrity in someone who previously had none,” simply by placing the hat on that person’s head and speaking an incantation (provided) about honor and integrity.

“I never would have believed it,” said Master KK Svenson, “but it really works.  I used to screw people over to get what I wanted, including my title.  Nothing else mattered, not even my relationship.  Now when I fuck people over, I feel bad about it.  It’s like I suddenly know right from wrong.”

Svenson was “covered” with one of the DomCo caps last month.  People close to him have noticed a difference.

“He’s kinda less of an asshole, I guess,” said one person who asked to not be identified as a friend.  “KK is the kind of person who wouldn’t piss on a burning man unless he thought he could do something for him.  Last weekend, I saw him pissing on some homeless guy and laughing.  The guy wasn’t even on fire, so I guess that is progress.”

A female slave who also wished to not be associated with Svenson is skeptical.  “My Master has been covered twice now and he still doesn’t have any integrity.  But they didn’t use the magical one, so I am hoping something will decide to give it a try.  Or I guess I could do the covering.”

Svenson, however, swears by the product, “I used to think hats couldn’t change people.  Now I know they can.”


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