LOS ANGELES, CA
Area dominant “Hemp Master” accidentally tied himself to his sub and girlfriend “Genie” at a local dungeon last Friday night. During a rope scene in which Mr. Master was attempting to try a “few cool new knot tricks” he found himself confoundingly tied up.
“Some 30 minutes into the scene I just got completely confused,” Help (not his real name) revealed to this reporter. “I lost track of where my ropes were going and what I was doing. I don’t know what happened next, but before I knew it my left hand was inexorably tangled in Genie’s rope work.”
“I felt him struggling,” said Genie (also not her real name). “He kept swearing under his breath. It really took me out of the scene.”
Hemp Master was forced to call over dungeon master Blade in the hopes that he could help with the puzzle. Unfortunately, the two were unable to extricate the rope man’s hand.
“I found a knife,” Blade explained, “but it still took over an hour to free him. I have no clue what this guy did. Knots on top of knots. It was a mess.”
“I think he was rather humiliated,” Genie said before shutting her mouth after receiving an obvious glare from Mr. Master.
Hemp Master reportedly was last seen gathering up bits of rope and yelling at his sub to get in the car. He has not been back at the dungeon since.