Osawa, AL
After 18 months in development and four rounds of testing, Dom Co has finally won approval for its new “Kink” vaccine. Based on new mRNA protocols, the vaccine works to eliminate major symptoms and effects that are sure to result from re-entry into the BDSM scene and Leather community.
The vaccine is administered in two doses, three weeks apart and is designed to grant immunity from the following conditions:
- Debates over whether or not submission is a “gift”
- Any attempts to define the differences between “submissives” and “slaves”
- Any discussion or debate involving “Rope,” “Shibari,” or “Kinbaku”
- Anything related to Only Fans web pages and the promotion thereof
- Discussions about Old Guard, “earning leathers,” and what “leather really means”
- Events where people are given hats
Additionally, a new side effect has been observed in some people which produces a rash whenever the subject comes within 15 feet of anyone exhibiting symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder.
Jason Kingston, a 37 year old Male Dominant participated in testing and reported both a total obliviousness to any of the “typical bullshit that you hear in the dungeon,” but also found an alarming number of dungeon-goers produced in him what he described as “a persistent itching that made me want to get the hell away from them.”
Kingston said that once he reached the 15 foot range, the “itching stopped completely.”
The only downside, according to Kingston, was finding spaces that didn’t cause the rash to appear.
For Kimmi Quindt, a 29 year old female switch, the new vaccine has been a lifesaver. “I used to get caught up in all those stupid debates, now I don’t even notice them. It leaves so much more time for actually doing kinky things and enjoying time with my friends.”
Dom Co says that the vaccine is available at most kink conferences and dungeons and is covered by most major insurance programs, including Medicare.
