BDSM Mistress Can “Teach Anything”

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LINCOLN, NEBRASKA

A BDSM Mistress who works under the name Mistress Melinda has the uncanny ability to teach classes on any topic, even those she has no knoweldge of or experience with.

“I realized when I was giving a weekend workshop on ‘Cold Fusion’ that I had a rare gift,” Mistress Melinda told The Daily Flogger.  “I am not even sure what that is or what it means, but I did two six hour sessions on it.  Not only did no one complain, I got rave reviews.  People said I really gave them a lot to think about.”

The so-called “Mistress of Education” has taught classes on religion and philosophy (both eastern and western), nearly every imaginable BDSM skill set, and most relationship dynamics.

“She is amazing,” Slave Marc told us.  “The way she presents things just makes it all seem so clear, so truthful.  She is an old soul, with a lot of knowledge.  Even about the things she doesn’t really know about.”

The Daily Flogger obtained a transcript of a recent class Mistress Melinda taught on “How DNA Affects Play Energy” and shared it with a group of experts in biochemistry, organic biology, and neuroscience.

Dr. Helen Fong described the class as “mostly gibberish, a combination of naive theories, made up words, and delusional fantasies.”  Dr. Steven Reynolds, an authority on the human genome, said the class “had not a hint of scientific credibility.  The theories offered were completely fantastical and out of touch with reality.”

When confronted with the researcher’s criticisms, Mistress Melinda responded by saying “They said I was fantastical!  You don’t hear compliments like that every day, especially not from Nobel prize winning geniuses.”

As a result, Mistress Melinda has decided to begin teaching five days a week.  Neither Drs. Fong nor Reynolds have been awarded Nobel prizes.

Mistress Melinda did offer to “fill in” for the professors if they ever needed it.  “It’s like I have a superpower and I intend to use it for good and not evil,” she told us.

photo credit: Rev. Xanatos Satanicos Bombasticos (ClintJCL) cc

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