TEMPE, ARIZONA
At a True Blood themed local dungeon party, Chaz Greenwald, 22, announced to the entire room that he would “totally bone Sookie Stackhouse.”
The announcement was made after Greenwald had consumed several of the customized Tru Blood cocktails and was “feeling a little buzzed.”
The phenomenon is very common among men Greenwald’s age, according to Kimberly Preston, psychologist and author of What the Fuck is Wrong With People Today? Preston told us it is a growing phenomenon. “We tried to figure out why some kid from the middle of nowhere who works at the local burger joint thinks he is in the same league as a major Hollywood actress and thinks this judgement about who he would and wouldn’t have sex with is of interest to anyone.”
Preston came to the conclusion that “there is no good reason for it. People are basically just assholes and idiots sometimes.”
Greenwald also told the assembled room of partiers that “He wouldn’t hit that,” in reference to Angelina Jolie, “because her face is all weird and shit.”
Preston’s response? “Yeah, right.”
