OSHKOSH, WISCONSIN
This year an enterprising submissive named Sandy Cornwallis will offer the first ever Sammich Con, a conference focused entirely on sandwich making and submissive service.
The origins of the event come from Cornwallis’s personal experience, “Three years ago, when my master told me to ‘make me a sammich, bitch,’ I wasn’t sure what to do. I froze and I got punished for it. Three years later, ham, mayo, lettuce on white with the crusts cut off is just as natural as breathing, but I know for many girls out there it isn’t that easy.”
The event will cover topics ranging from “Condiments: Curse or Salvation,” “Breads You Have Never Heard Of,” and “Surprising Him with Mortadella.” The highlight of the event is a debate between sandwich superstars on the topic “Submarine or Hoagie? The Differences are Not Just Regional.”
Sunday kicks off with special guest, chef Gordon Ramsey giving a breakfast keynote titled: “You call that a sandwich? It’s fucking disgusting.” The chef will be present for the full day, sampling sandwich styles and making snarky comments about them.
“Master and I watch ‘Kitchen Nightmares’ all the time,” said Tina Breckenbridge, long time submissive and novice sandwich artist. “I can’t wait to see what he thinks of my shrimp salad on toast. Master loves it. But Master is no Gordon Ramsey.”
