IRS Sets Standard Deduction for “Human Property”

WASHINGTON DC

After years of lobbying and filing briefs with the IRS, Sarah West, spokesperson and founder of the National Sexual Freedom Federation (NSFF), announced that the government’s highest tax authority will now recognize Master/slave and Owner/property relationships at tax time and will set the Standard Deduction for “Human Property” at $5,500.

For poly families the benefit could be greater, as the new law allows for ownership of multiple people.

“This is a great victory for all of us,” West said, “we know we have finally arrived when we are subject to the same governmental abuse and tax collection practices as other relationships.” Zane Devonshire, head analyst at the IRS’s division of standard deductions said the decision came after several years of careful study and a desire to “get Ms. West to shut up already.”

According to Devonshire, most of the research and proposal writing was done by a “blue ribbon panel” with extensive experience both in Master/slave relationships and macroeconomics. “We try to be fair to everyone,” Devonshire explained ,”our motto is ‘let’s make sure we are screwing everyone equally.”

The formal recognition by the government institution has sparked outrage in some.  Dr. Ligeth Dravenspork, founder of Making America American Again (MAAA), thinks the ruling “sends an unequivocal message.  If we allow this to stand, next you are going to see states and the courts legalizing gay marriage.”

When Dravenspork was informed that many states already allow nuptials among same sex couples, he simply said “See.  Just as I predicted.”

The new IRS status won’t kick in until 2015, but many are celebrating this ruling as a victory for BDSM rights. West told The Daily Flogger, “We didn’t really do very much, but we are happy to take credit for it.  That is what the NSFF is about.  Sexual freedom and taking credit.”

photo credit: ep_jhu cc