ATLANTA, UTAH
Researchers at the Center for Disease Control in Utah have isolated a new strain of bacteria that appears to have been spawned in the environments of BDSM dungeons.
“It is really odd,” says researcher Dr. Lewis Kinley, head of viral and bacteriological anomalies at the CDC, “the more we abuse this infection with anti-virals and broad spectrum anti-biotics, the happier it seems to be. It is almost like the disease itself has become masochistic. The worse you treat it, the more vibrant and robust it becomes.”
Several researchers has speculated that the disease itself has evolved from BDSM culture. That has also led to a new treatment regime.
“The treatment for the infection is non-standard,” Kinley reported in a recent CDC white paper, “if you ignore it for long enough, it will start to self-destruct. Of course, at that point it is the most dangerous because it will try to attach itself to anyone.”
Kinley’s insights came not from biology, but from studying the BDSM culture itself. “It seems to be a truly environmental disease. The parallels are uncanny.”
Photo credit: Chris CC: NC SA
